How Many Hail Mary’s?

Forgive me, Father, for someone has sinned.

Never mind who; I will do the penance.

It has been seventeen years since my last confession

and then I may have lied out of shame or pride.

Here is the truth and I know it will not set me free:

My father’s sins were in his hands
and he left them imprinted on my skin.
Those hands broke flesh and bone and soul,
and I am left with open fractures that may never heal.

My mother’s sins were those of omission.

Her hands are clean but not her heart.

My sins are in my marrow, bone-deep and viscous.

They swim in the cerebral-spinal fluid
that cushions my mind inside my skull.

If we are all sinners, why is there such shame in sinning?

How many Our Father’s until I am clean?

How many Hail Mary’s until I am whole?

Lord knows, I’ve already prayed.